So you got your first one star review. It hurts. How do you cope with this?
Sites such as Amazon
and Goodreads are quick to tell you what you can't do.
Basically, you can't do anything. You just have to suck it up. You
will look unprofessional or even get your account suspended if you
retaliate, even to point out something the reviewer has got factually
wrong. I suspect even clicking "No" to the question "Did
you find this review helpful?" could be a crime punishable by
exile. Even if the reviewer doesn't know it was you, Amazon will.
Though I can't stop my friends and supporters from clicking that
button. People who liked my book but don't feel up to posting an
actual review could still do that. Just saying.
So what is an
author to do when some nasty, spiteful troll who doesn't even know
them ruins their 4 and 5 star record?
1. Remember you're not
alone. Isaac Asimov once wrote, From
my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1)
those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those
who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.
2.
Know that getting a bad review means you are a real writer, now.
3.
It's relatively unlikely, but if your troll has said anything
obscene, racist or homophobic, or made actual physical threats to you
then it's worth checking the rules for reviewers on the site in
question. If it turns out they've broken one, you can discreetly
report them. Sadly, saying they thought your book was crap or your
characters shallow does not count as obscenity, no matter what you
might think.
4.
If they've given a name, you can search for them on Twitter. Not so
you can send insulting tweets or DMs, for that might get you kicked
out of Twitter as well; but to check you're not following them. If
you are, you can derive great satisfaction from clicking the
"Unfollow" button. If not, be relieved that you never
followed someone with such an obvious lack of taste.
5.
To get a sense of perspective, visit Amazon's top 100 and look up a
few best-sellers by wildly successful authors who sell a zillion
books a second, and whose shopping list would be made into movie if a
producer could only get hold of it. I won't mention any names but no
doubt a few will spring to your mind. This will show you that you can
be that
successful and still get bad reviews. Some of their one star reviews
will be worse than yours, amounting to personal attacks and quite
vicious remarks about the writer's personality and writing ability.
The following are all excerpts from one star Amazon reviews for top
selling writers about books that have been made into blockbuster
films or TV shows:
- author tries to be harsh and its loughable [sic] like 15year old shy girl wrote bad words for the first time.
- If I hadn't have known the author was a man I'd have thought it had been written by a looney left wing feminist lesbian.
- Someone should get her off her high horse, and explain to her she's not a writer.
- The grammar and the general style of writing in this book is absolutely dreadful.
- I was amazed to see how such (forgive me...) RUBBISH could find a publisher.
6. Have a look at the troll's grammar and spelling. You might find they are both appalling. There is some comfort if you see that they do not seem to know what a comma or a full stop are, how to use apostrophes and that they have mixed up "you're" and "your", "there" and "their" or "to" and "too." If you can spot a spelling mistake or two, so much the better. This shows that this person is semi-illiterate and therefore hardly qualified to comment.
7. Someone once said that when a writer falls in love with you, you never die. The opposite can be true, too. If a writer dislikes you, you could die today - on paper, at least. Need inspiration for a particularly nasty villain with few, if any, redeeming qualities? Need a character to be the victim of a particularly gruesome murder? I'd advise not using the troll's full name, perhaps just their first name, or a derivative of it, or a similar name, or an anagram of it, or even a totally different name. You know who you're writing about, and it's probably better that they don't. Even if you know they are unlikely to pick up a book by you ever again it's best to be on the safe side.
8. Finally, it's possible a negative review could have a positive effect. For example, "I hated this book because I hate Gothic Romances" might actually prompt someone who loves Gothic romances to check it out. Or they don't like your protagonist because something in her past stops her from doing things. (I can imagine what this person is like. Her friend just lost her grandmother, found out her cat has cancer, her parents are getting a divorce, she's been dumped by her boyfriend and failed her driving test and a very important exam all on the same day; This reviewer will be the one saying, "Oh, for coitus sake, pull yourself together.") Someone else, who likes books with flawed protagonists and who understands that people don't always bounce back smiling and unscathed when doo-doo happens and that there wouldn't be much of a story if all the characters were perfect - might decide it's just the book for them.
