Superhero Problems

Problems you only experience if you happen to be a superhero.

#20 Being placed on 24 hour suicide watch because you were bitten by a radioactive lemming.

#19 Ever since you were bitten by that radioactive skunk, nobody wants to know you.

#18 Ever since you were bitten by that radioactive firefly, you can't sleep at night.

#17 Nobody noticed the invisible guy, so you don't get any share of the reward.

#16 Forgetting to use the bathroom before putting your power armour on.

#15 Occupied phone boxes.

#14 Getting an itch while wearing power armour.

#13 When you inadvertently mention anything about "weight" or "fat" within earshot of Miss Roly-Poly.

#12 Trying to convince the woman you're chatting up that you're not just another impersonator.

#11 When your toddler throws a tantrum, he does REAL damage.

#10 Having to hide your team-mates' Christmas presents in lead-lined containers because they have X-ray vision.

#9 How to carry on a conversation with your team-mate Invisible Man (who no-one else can see) in public without looking silly.

#8 Defence shields that activate in the vaccination clinic.

#7 Having the super-power of creating explosions and then getting the blame when the super-villains booby trap the Christmas crackers.

#6 Discovering that your super-power is absorbing other people's super-powers - and then discovering that it wears off.

#5 Sourcing spare parts for your mega-robot

#4 Your girlfriend turns out to be a super-villain and doesn't like it when you turn down her offer of joint-rulership of the entire universe.

#3 Your boyfriend with the superpower of breathing underwater cheats on you with a mermaid.

#2 Deciding to end it all by blowing your brains out, then finding it's a teleport gun.

#1 Facing a super-villain with a crossbow when wearing a cape.

Got an idea for a superhero problem? Post it in the comments section and I'll do my best to illustrate it and add it to my list (unless it's offensive in which case I'll just ignore it)!

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One last thing - check out my superhero novel:

From A Jack To A King

A royal palace is burning. The King and Queen are dead. The only hopes for an ancient dynasty flee to England for their lives.

A boy runs from his mother and the people he believes want to mutilate him, and vanishes, seemingly forever.

Gary Winchcombe, the experimental "super-cop" pursues a notorious gang of bank robbers, and starts to discover that his friends and neighbours have secrets he never could have imagined.

Tod Reynard wants to turn his life around. When he meets and falls in love with the beautiful Jade, he knows she might just be the one to help him change his life for the better. He cannot possibly know just how much.

When Jade's twin sister Gloria is kidnapped, old rivalries must be put aside and new associations formed in order to save Gloria's life and restore the rightful order of things.

Available from: Createspace, Amazon, Amazon Kindle